Waves of Pain
by Kime Tara
Summary: [Complete] [Prequel to Red Roses Mean Love] Vincent/Tifa - A series of Vincent and Tifa interludes that take place during the game, and how the background friendship was formed.
1. Come Out, Moon

**Come Out, Moon**

By Kimetara

1st Interlude

Disclaimer: C'mon, you all know this...

*_blah*_ = thoughts/song lyrics

***** = flashback

*_Come out, moon_

_Come out wishing star_

_Come out, come out_

_Where ever you are*_

          Tifa sat on the snowy hillside, hugging her knees.  A cape generously lent by the people of Icicle Inn was snug around her shoulders.

          Carefully, she searched the sky.

          It was cloudy tonight.

*_I'm out here in the dark_

_All alone and wide-awake_

_Come and find me*_

          They had taken a break from their search from Cloud – all of them desperately needed it.  Cid, especially – although he boasted of needing not a wink of sleep, she could see the fatigue in his eyes.  Piloting an airship wasn't an easy task, and she was grateful that he had put up with her trip around the world.  He hadn't even made it to his room, but fallen asleep in the chocobo stable.

          Tifa, though, couldn't sleep at all.  How could she?  With Cloud gone...?

*_I'm empty and I'm cold_

_And my heart's about to break_

_Come and find me*_

          Did he survive the explosion in the Northern Crater?  Was it possible?  Tifa felt the water building in her eyes, before they trickled over, the warm stream turning icy.

          She shivered as she searched the heavens, a harsh wind blowing past her.

*_I need you to come here and find me_

_`Cause without you, I'm totally lost*_

          What would they do without Cloud?  Weapon was on the rampage, Shinra still at large, Meteor looming above them...and she was the leader.

          How could she lead without Cloud?  He had always known what to do...even if it was foolhardy and even if it failed, he was always able to come up with _something_.

*_I've hung a wish_

_On every star_

_It hasn't done much good so far_

_I can only dream of you_

_Where ever you are*_

          She'd wished on every star she could find...even now, three days after, she was searching for that star.  The wishing star.  

          ...their star...

*_I hear you laugh_

_I see you smile_

_I'll be with you_

_Just for a while*_

          Whenever sleep finally overtook her...all she dreamed about...

*****

          _"All right...I promise."_

_          "Hey, Tifa!"_

_          "What?  How could you say that!"_

_          "Leave it to me."_

_          "It's alright, Tifa."_

_*****_

*_But then the morning comes_

_And the sun begins to rise_

_I will lose you*_

          Morning?  Deep inside, a part of Tifa laughed mockingly – a part her overly tired exterior simply couldn't bring itself to show.

          Probably a good thing anyway...

          She almost never slept anymore.  Maybe one, two, at most three hours a night – and only because she knew everybody else needed their rest.

          Those few hours though...it was bliss, in her dreams with Cloud...

*_Because it's just a dream_

_When I open up my eyes_

_I will lose you*_

          Tifa was torn between never sleeping, and never waking.  To spend eternity dreaming of Cloud...even if she did find him, it was probably all she'd have anyway.

          But she couldn't let herself be satisfied with that.  She _needed_ to know if Cloud was alive.  And if he was dead...

          Tifa couldn't even see the see the sky anymore.  She bowed her head, sobbing.__

_*I used to believe in forever_

_But forever's too good_

_To be true*_

          "Why...?" she whispered, her breath forming a mist before her.  She'd always believed in happily ever afters...  It was the only way she couldn't go crazy, after Nibelheim had burned.

          After the plate had fallen.

          After Aeris had died.

          But this...this was too much.

          Why wasn't there ever a happily ever after for her?

_*I've hung a wish_

_On every star_

_It hasn't done much good so far*_

          Wishing on stars...  Tifa smiled bitterly.  It didn't help.  It never did.

          But...was there anything else she could do?

_*I don't know what else to do_

_Except to try and dream of you_

_I wonder_

_If you're dreaming too?_

_Where ever you are*_

          Maybe she ought to just sleep...

          Just sleep and dream of Cloud...

          Maybe she'd meet him in her dreams...?

          Vincent watched the motionless form from the window of the Icicle Inn.  Her whole frame sagged of weariness and despair.

          He felt himself warm, slightly, to the brunette.  He...understood.  Perhaps even sympathized.

          But not enough to comfort.  Not enough to move from his cold distance.  Vincent felt no desire to be pulled in closer to such a personal situation.

          It was enough though, to make him feel.  To make him remember.

          And a part of him hated it.

          But at the same time, a part reveled in it.  He didn't want to forget Lucrecia...no matter how painful.

          Vincent knew what they all thought.

          They all, with the possible exception of Tifa, considered him a fool for holding on to her.

          For them, after all, she died before they were even born – over three decades.

          For him it has been...less.  Vincent shrugged.  It's a bit hard to keep track of time when your arm is being amputated.

          And he _was_ in that box for a good thirty or so years.

          For him, it has been less.  A few years, perhaps.

          He still missed her.

          Vincent straightened, his eyes narrowing as he caught the faintest movement in the bleak form outside the window.  A slight relaxing of muscles, a tiny slumping of the shoulders...

          In the Icicle Inn, a crimson cape swirled as the door silently closed.

          Tifa felt herself drifting off, her eyelids drooping.  The stress and those past nights of no sleep were catching up to her.

          She knew, if she fell asleep now, she wouldn't ever wake up.

          Did she care?

          Before she could answer that question, an indifferent voice abruptly startled her out of her thoughts.

          "Tomorrow, I suggest we look into the southern island everybody here is talking about.  I believe it's called Mideel."

          Tomorrow?

          Would she?  Would she give this rest up, to search once more?

          Would she put herself through another disappointment, through another heartbreak?

          Could she do that?

          For him...  "Yes.  That's a good idea Vincent, we haven't look there yet," Tifa replied, making an effort, tired as she was, to sound hopeful.  Slowly, painfully aware of the numbness in her legs, she rose.  Vincent, seeing her difficulty, reached and took hold of her elbow.

          She was surprised.  It was the first time Vincent had actually...touched her.

          But then again, he always was so very polite.  Cold, aloof, but polite.

          And it was only polite to help a female in the snow.

          Tifa could feel herself laughing mockingly once more.  The only way she was able to receive any support was because it was _polite_.  Now how pathetic was that?

          And from Vincent, no doubt.  This really was ironic.

          Tifa shook her head as she struggled back into the inn, Vincent trailing effortlessly behind her.

          He left her in the lobby.  Tifa stumbled, alone, up the stairs.

          She lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.  She could feel her previous exhaustion washing over her.

Maybe...maybe, tomorrow...she'd find him.

At any rate...at least she'd see him tonight.

Tifa closed her eyes and dreamed.__

_*Where ever you are...*_

AN: Hey everybody!  School just started yesterday, so I don't know how often I'll be able to write anymore.  :/  I'm in this honor's program thing, and we get a TON of homework...bleh.   

Well, this was a one-shot I began the day before school, got interrupted and never finished, and am now finishing two days later (instead of doing homework...).  Now, I'm finishing it up because I'm worried I never will if I don't.  ^^;;  I'm late for my update of "Jade, Wine, and Turk training" too...  *sigh*

"Come Out, Moon," is a song from "Pooh's Grand Adventure" – I have two younger siblings, and one has become *obsessed* with Pooh.  And this song got stuck in my head and pretty much screamed of Tifa's search for Cloud.

Prequel to my Vincent/Tifa fic, but little to no Vincent/Tifa?  Well, if you'll notice, this is before the prologue – the pivoting moment in the entire relationship between Vincent/Tifa (them becoming friends).  This was also before the Waterfall Cave, so Vincent has yet to find the closure seeing Lucrecia (I assume) gave him.

Long AN (as usual, hehe), so I'll quit talking now.  ^_^  Please review!


	2. Turtle's Paradise

**Turtle's Paradise**

By Kimetara

2nd Interlude

Disclaimer: FFVII is not mine.

*_blah*_ = thought

~~~~~ = time/POV break

          "Hey Vincent!"  Tifa smiled cheerfully and waved from the doorway of the inn's room.  "Yuffie offered to treat us at Turtle's Paradise to apologize, why don't you come along?"

          Vincent shrugged and turned away.  "No, thank you," he responded curtly.

          "Awww, c'mon Vinnie!" Yuffie whined, popping up from behind Tifa.  "I'm _really_ sorry about taking your materia!  And after saving me from that perv, the least I can do is get you guys dinner!"  *_I get it all free anyway, heh heh..._*

          "..."  Vincent didn't move from his position at the inn's window.

          "Hmph.  Party pooper!"  Yuffie pouted, before running out of the inn to make reservations.

          Cloud walked into the room and stood uncertainly next to the dark man.  "You sure you don't want to come?  It'll probably be a lot of fun, Vince."

          "No," he answered flatly.  Cloud scratched his head, before turning to Tifa with a helpless "I tried" look.

          Tifa shrugged.  "Well, alright Vincent.  We'll be back in a couple hours then."  She waited as Cloud moved past her toward the restaurant.  "And Vincent...try to lighten up a bit, okay?" she requested softly.

          Vincent made no motion to show he had heard her voice, although she knew he heard her quite clearly.  Tifa sighed and left the room.

~~~~~

          "Oh my gosh, Yuffie!  The poor waiter!" Tifa laughed helplessly, remembering when Yuffie had been practicing her shuriken throwing and accidentally torn the waiter's suspenders.

          "I didn't mean it!" Yuffie protested, but dissolving into giggles as she glanced at a disgruntled Cloud – his shirt stained with miso soup the waiter had spilled when he tripped over his pants.

          Tifa burst out laughing again when she caught sight of a piece of tofu stuck in Cloud's hair, one hand over her stomach while the other flailed weakly in the blond's direction.  Yuffie, looking to see what Tifa was waving at, immediately began giggling even more, so that soon both females were bent over, laughing uncontrollably.

          For a moment, Cloud just stood there, exasperated, but after a moment he gave in too.        

          "Shhh!"  The innkeeper came in, a stern expression on his face.  "Please!  Some of our residents are sleeping!"

          This only caused Tifa and Yuffie to laugh harder, but Cloud managed to gain some control over himself.  "Yes sir, I'm sorry about that."

          Tifa began to regulate her breathing, a trick she'd learned from Zangan, and was before long able to stand up.  "Mmm-hmm.  We'll try to be quieter," she added, wiping tears from her eyes.  Yuffie shut her mouth and held her breath in an attempt to be quiet.

          The innkeeper frowned.  "Perhaps you ought to go to your rooms...the walls are thicker there," he suggested, before leaving.

          The trio nodded and headed upstairs.  They climbed the stairs silently, not even glancing at each other for fear of breaking out into laughter once more.

          When they finally reached their joint room, Yuffie almost slammed the door shut, before they all released the stifled laughter that had been rising in their throats.  Yuffie slumped weakly against the door, while Cloud and Tifa curled on the floor, bubbling, pure, happy laughter filling the small joint bedroom.

          "Ohhh..." Tifa gasped, the three finally beginning to get a hold over themselves.  "Wow, that was fun..."

          "Yeah!" Yuffie chirped.  "We've all been wayyy too serious lately!"

          Cloud nodded.  "I don't think I've laughed like that years..."

          Tifa stood, stretching.  "That felt so good-"

          "Did it?" an aloof tone interrupted.  The trio turned, trying to locate the voice's location. 

          "Hey Vincent!"  Tifa smiled.  "Oh, you should have come...it was so hilarious," she finished, a small giggle making it's way out.

          "I see.  If you're all done making fools out of yourselves, we have a task ahead of us that would require some rest," he spoke coolly, effectively sobering the mood.  Yuffie's giggles became quiet, then stopped altogether.  Tifa's expression grew vexed and melancholy, while Cloud's darkened.  It wasn't that they had forgotten their mission...it was that for a few, short, blissful hours, they had gained relief from its constant stress.

          A relief that had quite effectively been banished.

          "Yeah, Vincent's got a point," Cloud sighed, standing.  "Let's all get some sleep...we'll be needing it."

          Vincent nodded and withdrew.  Tifa glared at his back.

          Yuffie frowned.  "Ugh.  I gotta go back to the Highwind now..."  She groaned, making a face at the thought.  "I'll see you guys later!"  The small ninja jogged out the door.

          "Well..." Cloud turned, about to say good night to Tifa, when he finally noticed her expression.  She looked extremely annoyed about something – a tall, raven-haired man in particular. "Uh...good night, Tifa..."

          "Yes, good night Cloud," Tifa answered absently.  "Vincent, would you please come downstairs with me?"  Somehow, it didn't sound like a request.

          Vincent paused for a moment, then strode out of the room.  Tifa followed, shutting the door softly behind her.

          Cloud stared at the door for a moment, before shrugging and getting into bed.  Whatever it was, he was sure Tifa and Vincent would be able to work it out.

          Vincent stopped in the lobby, turning to face Tifa, his arms crossed over his chest.

          Tifa stalked past him and nearly yanked the door open, a waiting expression on her face.  For a moment, the two seemed to have a battle of wills – Tifa wanting Vincent to go outside, and Vincent refusing.

          "I don't want to talk in here," she bit out curtly.  "The innkeeper already got mad at us."

          Vincent raised an eyebrow, his expression – or at least what could be seen to Tifa – reading a mocking "who would've guessed?"  But he stepped through the door.

          Tifa shut the door behind them, stepped out past Vincent, then promptly whirled around, her eyes narrowed.  "Is there something the matter with enjoying ourselves?" she asked tersely.

          "We have more important things at hand," Vincent answered, his tone emotionless.

          "So?  That doesn't mean we can't have fun when we get the chance, does it?" Tifa demanded.

          "..."

          "Well?"  She paused.  Vincent didn't answer.  "And why did you call us all idiots anyway?"

          "Because you were."

          "Oh, you..."  Tifa gritted her teeth.  "You, you're so caught up in your little dream world of Lucrecia, and all your stupid sins and such, you just want everybody to be as miserable as you are!" she accused, hands on her hips, her normally warm wine eyes narrowed into hard garnet flecks.  "You won't even let yourself have fun, you're so determined to be a cool, heartless macho man!"

          Vincent's eyes flashed, and he strode over to Tifa until he was barely inches away.  "Don't you dare," he hissed, "pretend that you know what I'm going through.  Don't you _dare_ give yourself the right to judge myself and my past."

          "Well I wouldn't, if I knew what your past was!" she yelled.  "You're always brooding over it, but you never _tell_ any of us anything..."  The brunette stamped her foot, frustrated.  "You're always so distant!  It's not that you can't let yourself get close to anybody, it's that you _won't_, you selfish jerk!  We're a team, the rest of us, but you...you just go off in your own little corner, beating yourself up about things you can't do anything about!  You won't even _try_ to get over it!"  Tifa paused, drawing in breath.  "And then you go around spreading your pessimistic depression on everybody else...I'm sick of it, Vincent.  Get over yourself!"

          Vincent simply stood there, his arms crossed against her little tirade.  "Are you done?" he asked coolly.

          Tifa's fists clenched, but she didn't raise them from her sides.  "Fine," she spoke, her voice low.  "Just shrug it all off.  But maybe you ought to think about what I said, Vincent."

          "I'll take that under advisement."

          "Look..." Tifa sighed, all her anger abruptly draining away.  "I'm not...really upset over you being a killjoy, although that _was_ annoying...but you were right, we needed to get some rest."

          "..."  He raised an eyebrow.  What was she trying to get at?

          "Vincent..."  She hesitated.  "I haven't forgotten what you've done for me...and I'm just worried about you," she added softly.  "You're missing out...you need to try _living_," she finished, before walking back through the inn entrance.

          Vincent stayed out in the darkness.  It was where he felt the most secure...where nobody could see him.

          Nobody could judge him.

          He lay down to go to sleep.

          "Vincent?"  Vincent awoke to voices frantically calling his name.  "Vincent??  Where are you?!"  Slowly, he began to rise.

          When he was about halfway up, Tifa burst out of the inn, her head rapidly turning side to side, worry plainly etched on her face.  Almost immediately, she caught sight of his crimson cape.

          "Vincent!"  The brunette rushed over, about to hug him, but restrained herself when she was within a foot of the man.  "Did you spend the entire night out here?"  Tifa contented herself with crouching down, so she could speak to him at eye level.

          "Yes."  For some reason, Vincent couldn't bring himself to look straight at her.  Instead, he kept his gaze on the grass below him.

          "Why?  Ohhh, I was so worried when you weren't in the inn this morning!"  Tifa bit her lip.  "I'm sorry...  I didn't mean to make you feel...unwelcome..." she faltered, unsure of _what_, exactly, she had made him feel that had compelled this dark man to sleep outside.

          "You didn't."

          Tifa shook her head.  "You were right...as always..."  She gave a wry smile.  "I shouldn't have tried to judge you like that..."

          Vincent felt guilt rising through him.  She had considered his words...he should have done the same.

          Tifa kneeled next to Vincent a moment longer, but when he didn't seem inclined to answer, she rose and yelled out toward the inn.  "Cloud!  He's out here!"

          Cloud hurried out.  "You okay?" he asked.  "I'm sorry, Vince...I should have stayed up and made sure you made it back in..."

          Vincent shook his head, all this attention making him uncomfortable.  "It's of no importance," he muttered, before turning and walking off toward the airship.

          Tifa and Cloud glanced at each other.  Cloud shrugged.  "That's Vincent," he remarked, then jogged to catch up with the ex-Turk.

          Tifa jogged after the blond, considering.  There was something...different about Vincent today, even though she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

          She shrugged, just thankful he was okay.

          Now, time to go find Sephiroth...

AN: Hmmm...I might be doing a few more interludes for "Waves of Pain," since it _is_ supposed to have a history of friendship between Vincent and Tifa.  Well, anyway, R&R please!


	3. Waves of Pain

**Waves of Pain**

By Kimetara

3rd Interlude/POV

Disclaimer: FFVII belongs to Squaresoft.

AN: Hah!  This story is not dead!  Yeah!  ^_^  *dances*

Uh...sorry for my long disappearance.  I've just been _swamped_ with homework.  In fact, I have to go type up a research report and my History Day topic...oh well.

Anyway (sorry for going a bit OT there), this is the prologue for "Waves of Pain," the fic this series of interludes is the prequel for (go check it out!  Lol), so you needn't read if you already have.  It's only here to show chronological order.

_The day will come_

_When you find yourself alone_

_Drifting, drowning in the sea you've created..._

          I stand here, and I watch them.  My...companions, I suppose.

          I watch Cid skillfully pilot the Highwind.  It's obvious of his love for the craft.

          I listen to Barret and Cait Sith speaking.  They're talking about Marlene, of course.  The toy has admitted that Marlene is fine, and allowed Barret to speak to her.  As a result, he does not hold as much resentment toward the executive as before.

          I keep an eye out for the ninja.  I know she will take any chance that appears to steal my materia – especially after the Wutai incident.

          I can see Nanaki napping.  I watch our "leader" stare out the window, brooding on another far out of his reach.  I see warm burgundy eyes, a shade deeper than mine, gazing at the blond wistfully.

          I wish for them all to drown.

          I have nothing against them.  It's a horrible thought, the thought of a monster...and yet, I can't help it.

          I'm drowning.  I want them all to know of what I have, what I still am, going through.

          Why?

          ...do I actually want them to understand my pain?  My sins?  Does it matter to me if I am alone?

          "Vincent?"

          I looked up as a kind voice sounded my name.  "Yes?"  It's Tifa.  Why is she here?

          She smiled and settled down near me.  "Mind if I talk a bit?"

          "...do as you like."  Unlike the others, Tifa never feared me.  I respect her for that.  It's more than I'm capable of.

          "Okay."  Tifa was quiet for a moment.  "...I've heard somewhere that true happiness is being able to live in the present," she finally remarked.

          "..."

          "What do you think?"

          Why was she asking me this?  "I don't remember," I answered, my voice flat.

          Tifa's eyes looked up at me, her eyes sad.  "Don't remember being happy?  That's terrible..."  She bit her lip.  "I think...it would be nice...to have no regrets from the past and no responsibilities for the future.  But I also think," she continued thoughtfully, "that we'd be different people without that.  I think our pain shapes us, molds us into stronger people."  Abruptly, Tifa locked eyes with mine.  "If we let it," she drew out slowly, never wavering in her gaze.

          "What's that supposed to mean?"  It slipped.  I didn't mean for it to, but it did.  Would it be another sin among the many I carry?

          She smiled, a ting of melancholy touching the expression.  "Don't drown in your sorrows, Vincent," she answered softly.  "Let the pain carry you until you're strong enough to go on your own, but don't allow it to engulf your being."

          "What would you know?" I asked harshly.

          "I've lived through the death of both of my parents.  I've lived through my town being burnt to ashes.  I've worked in the slums as a bar waitress.  I've seen and heard men strive to keep afloat by drowning themselves in liquor...and I've seen them fail and go under."  Tifa paused.  "...and I'm struggling myself," she finished, almost inaudibly.  I believe the only reason I caught it was thanks to my enhanced hearing.

          "Don't allow that to happen to you, okay Vincent?" she requested, beginning to stand.

          "Why does it matter?"  My voice had returned to its normal emotionless tone.  I wasn't sure whether I was grateful or otherwise.

          She's smiling at me again.  How can she do that?  "Because I care, silly," she answered, her tone affectionate before turning and walking back to Cloud's side, once more going unnoticed.

          I blinked.  Nobody had _ever_ spoken to me like that since...Lucrecia...  Everybody else had been too afraid.  Afraid of me as a Turk, afraid of me as a monster.

          Then...does she...understand?

          But how can she keep on smiling?

          I closed my eyes, and I remembered hers.  Yes, she understood, I could see her fight the waves of pain in her eyes.

          And I understood her.

          Her smile was her mask – more subtle than mine, but a mask all the same.

          I had received my wish...Tifa was drowning.

          Suddenly I no longer desired her such a fate.  She had no reason for it, as I did...

          One more sin, amongst many...

          I shall atone for this one as well.

          I will fulfill her wish.  I won't drown in my sorrows...as long as she doesn't either.

AN: Like I said, this is only here to show chronological order (since it is already a part of my story), so you needn't review if you don't like.  Rather, go on to the next chapter and review _that_ one.  ^_^


	4. Teardrops in the Sea

**Teardrops in the Sea**

By Kimetara

4th Interlude/POV

Disclaimer: Same as usual, you guys...

          I've been such a fool at times.

          I know it.

          I can't believe some of the things I've done...

          Like all those times I could I have stopped her.

          I could have killed Hojo.

          I could have persuaded her harder.

          But no, instead I ran away, because I was too hurt by rejection to see the tears in her eyes.

          I always feel so shamed when I think of it...

          And when I ignored the friendly advances made unto me.  All of Cloud's comments, Nanaki's wisdom, Cid's good-natured cursing, Tifa's smiles...  I presided over them all, cold and aloof, sure of myself in my pain and unwilling to see the sorrow of others.

          But strangely, Tifa had reached me.  Perhaps because, beneath her bright exterior, she understands the ache I feel.

          But she's always so happy.

          So optimistic.

          Despite her harsh past and Cloud's ignorance, she continues to support and brighten the group, with a depth that Yuffie and Aeris' perkiness failed to achieve.

          A few days ago, she was laughing as the ninja pretended to pour water over Nanaki's head.  Yuffie was giggling, even when Red snarled at her, and Tifa stepped in and settled the amiable dispute.  Even though we were on the Highwind, and searching for Sephiroth, the three were happy, if not for very long.

          Nanaki soon resumed his worried expression, and Yuffie became bored and searched for another being to irritate, but Tifa stayed seemingly content, a small smile playing on her face.

          I watched her, and she noticed, and came to sit by me as she had before.  I still remembered that conversation.

          Eventually, I asked, "How do you keep yourself from drowning?"

          She thought for a moment.  "I'm...not sure.  I try to keep other people happy, I guess, because when they're happy, I'm happy.  It helps me to feel more..." she searched for the word, "...adequate."

          My gaze settled on the floor.  "Then there is no hope for me," I murmured.

          The fighter blinked.  "Why on earth would you say that, Vincent?"

          "I could not bring happiness to anyone.  My actions are only capable of causing pain."

          She gave me an odd look, then said the most surprising thing.

          "Actions are like teardrops in the sea...you know they're there, but you can never, ever call them back," she quoted.  "Yuffie told me that once, when I asked her why she never felt badly about the things she did."

          "Yuffie?"  If it weren't for all my years as a Turk, I was sure my expression would have been priceless.

          "Yes."  She smiled.  "I know, I was surprised too.  But she told me it was something one of her mentors had told her...probably the woman that stands before Wutai's entrance, near the cat house."

          "I see."  Now that my shock had dimmed, I wondered – what did this have to do with me?

          I suppose Tifa picked up my questioning, because she began explaining the quote.  "I think that it has two meanings – one, to be careful of your actions, because you can't take them back.  But you already do that," she smiled.  "It's the second meaning that she used it for, and the one I want you to see..." she paused, waiting to see if I would ask.  I didn't.  

          After a moment, the female shrugged, and went on with her explanation.  "I think it also means that there's no use feeling terribly over something that you've done, because there's nothing more you can do."  She smiled again.  "Yuffie takes that meaning a bit too lightly, since she doesn't even feel badly about something she did five minutes ago, but you Vincent..."  Tifa shook her head.  "It's been so long...maybe you ought to let go."

          I was silent.

          "...I'm sorry," she sighed.  "I know I've told you that before, and I know I promised to stay out of it."

          "...it's alright," I answered finally.  She was, after all, only trying to care.  I had no reason to be annoyed.  In truth, a small part of me warmed at her concern, although one I quickly suppressed.

          She smiled at me again.  "Thank you."  She seemed happy, for some odd reason.  I almost asked her why.

          Almost.  I managed to hold my tongue.  However, she told me on her own.

          "I'm glad, Vincent.  You seem...I don't know.  Less...distant," she laughed, a bit embarrassed by the sound of it.  "...it's good to be friends," she finished quietly.  I wasn't sure whether I was meant to overhear her last comment or not, so I refrained from remarking.  Rather, I noticed that the bridge had slowly emptied, and that we were, with the exception of Cait Sith, the only ones left.

          It was then Tifa yawned and stood.  "It's getting a bit late...I'm going to go get some sleep.  `Night, Vincent.  Sweet dreams."  She smiled at me for the last time, then left for her room.

          Sweet dreams?

          I could only hope...

AN: Yes, if you'll note, these are not all random interludes and they do all relate and build on each other.  That's why I felt it was necessary to include the prologue of "Waves of Pain," or else the order would have been all messed up.

But anyway...please R&R!  *goes back to report*


	5. A New Understanding

**A New Understanding**

By Kimetara

5th Interlude

Disclaimer: Nope, FFVII still isn't owned by me...

          Tifa frowned as she watched Vincent.  

          For a while, she thought he'd been lightening up a bit...well, since they had that conversation.  She was rather surprised Vincent had taken the time to listen to her observations and ideas on life...nobody else seemed to.

          But at any rate...since then, he seemed to be less...distant.  Just a little, but still, it was _something_.  However, since that battle with Hojo...he seemed to draw away again.  Tifa couldn't understand it.  She would have thought defeating Hojo would have brought Vincent further out, not increase his aloofness.

          He had seemed so resolute on going...

*****

          _"Alright, it'll be me, Tifa, and...Cid," Cloud determined.  "We'll go on to battle; the rest of you stay here and keep watch."  *_Incase we fail.*_  The implied words hung in the air.  If they failed, then...that'd be that, all the materia would be gone, and without a doubt, the rest of AVALANCHE would be wiped out by the monsters.  But they couldn't allow themselves to think of that._

_          Tifa felt a little thrill go through her – both at the thought of the upcoming battle, and at Cloud choosing _her_ for this crucial moment.  Of course, it was only logical – she had been fighting the longest of the entire team besides Cloud, since Cloud learned early on choosing Barret would only bring him a large headache.  Still...  She couldn't help but analyze the decision._

_          The chosen three turned to ascend the stairs, tension radiating throughout the entire group.  Cloud had barely placed his foot on the first step, however, before a cold voice stopped them._

_          "No."_

_          Tifa turned, surprised.  Lately, it had been a rarer and rarer occurrence of a member of the team challenging Cloud, though at the beginning, there had been no end to Barret's second-guessing.  Nonetheless, never by Vincent..._

_          And yet...Tifa remembered, vaguely, the first time they had found Vincent.  He _had_ been interested in whether they would fight Hojo..._

_          "I am going as well," Vincent clarified at Cloud's puzzled expression._

_          Cloud blinked.  "But..."_

_          "I am going."  He didn't speak particularly determinedly, but there was something in his tone that simply didn't allow argument._

_          "...okay then," Cloud spoke decisively, realizing the futileness of arguing.  "Cid, Vincent, exchange materia."_

_          As Cid and Vincent exchanged, not without some lovely adjectives by Cid, Tifa tried to remember whether Vincent had ever mentioned anything about Hojo that would make him so set on fighting the mad scientist. _

_          Wasn't Hojo the one that had locked Vincent in that basement...?  Tifa winced inwardly.  It some crazy psycho had locked her in a coffin, she'd be pretty determined to teach him a lesson too._

_          Still...if her memory served her right, Vincent hadn't seemed very upset about waking up in a coffin...in fact, he'd asked them to leave him there, to "let him sleep"..._

_          "Ready."  A detached voice, with a surprisingly audible trace of grimness, interrupted her thoughts._

_          Cloud nodded.  "Let's go."  The trio turned to climb the stairs, Tifa glancing furtively at Vincent the entire way._

_          He was such an enigma..._

*****

          Tifa absentmindly tucked a nonexistent strand of hair behind her ear.  He had said something after Hojo's nonsensical rambling...something about it was Hojo who needed to sleep?  What did that mean?

          And yet...when he said it...he seemed so...  Tifa couldn't find the word to describe it.  He had become so terribly intense, so many powerful emotions had churned on his normally emotionless countenance...

          The brunette sighed.  There was no use in asking Vincent about him...especially after what she'd said at Turtle's Paradise.  She sighed, a bit guiltily.  She didn't regret what she'd said – goodness knows, somebody needed to give him a bit of a reality check – but she didn't have to be so harsh.

          Tifa glanced back over at Vincent, brooding in the corner.  She had to do something...he'd kill himself if he went on like that, emotionally if not physically.

          With a resolute straightening of shoulders, Tifa stood and walked toward Vincent.

          "Vincent?" Tifa asked hesitantly.

          He looked at her, waiting.

          "Are you...okay...?"  Stupid question, but she couldn't think of anything else to say.

          "I am as I always am."

          "Oh..."  Tifa frowned, at a loss of words.  She felt like just retreating and letting him wallow in whatever he was wallowing in, but her care for her friend wouldn't allow her to do so.  "Uh...so...do you know what Hojo was talking about back there?  I can't figure any of it out, but maybe something he said could help us find Sephiroth," she added hurriedly to her question.  It was true, just not the real reason she asked.

          "...it is none of your concern, and no help to you."

          "To you?"  Tifa's brows furrowed.  "To us."

          Vincent shrugged.

          "Vincent, you know you're one of us, right?" Tifa pressed.

          "..."

          "You know we'd be willing to help you out with anything.  Even if it was just listening..." Tifa trailed off.  She figured there really wasn't any way she could get much blunter than that without straight out telling him.

          Vincent sighed.  Tifa was surprised by this little bit of emotion Vincent had revealed – he always seemed so calm and reserved.  Just this hint of him being tired was enough to throw Tifa off.

          "Thank you, Tifa.  But it is something I must come to terms with alone."

          "Come to terms with...?"

          "Yes.  I have committed a great sin, and although Hojo's words slightly lessened the burden, it still holds me with unbreakable bonds."  He look away from her.

          "I see..." Tifa murmured.  "What...?"

          "Lucrecia," was his answer, the word softened by a lost emotion.  His eyes were distant, focused on something far behind her.  Tifa quietly took her leave.

AN: Hey all.  It's been a long, long while, huh?  Well, surprisingly enough I've managed to get some time and inspiration to take up writing again.  This series/prequel should be wrapped up in one more interlude, and I think "Red roses mean love" (originally "Waves of Pain") will be done in a few more chapters.  Please review!


	6. Lucrecia

**Lucrecia**

By Kimetara

6th and Final Interlude

Disclaimer: FFVII belongs to...a bunch of companies, not me.

          Tifa shivered on the deck of the Highwind, rubbing her arms as slight goosebumps rose.  She, Cloud, and Cait were going to scout the crater the Highwind had set down in, just incase there were any dangers lurking about.

          Tifa sighed.  Beyond the mountains was her childhood home, Nibelheim.  She hadn't felt ready to sleep there again.  Thankfully, nobody had minded setting down in this secluded crater instead.

          She paused to watch the huge waterfall.  It was really a breath-taking sight...

          "Hey Tifa!" Cloud yelled.  "C'mon, Cait and I are ready to go!"

          "Coming!" she called back, sprinting down the ramp of the Highwind. Cloud grinned at her as Cait waved.

          "Alright, everybody ready?  Weapons, materia, armor all checked?" Cloud asked.  Everybody nodded.  "Okay then, let's mosey!"

          "Wait."  The trio's heads whipped around for the source of that deep voice.  

          "I will accompany you."  Vincent flipped gracefully off the Highwind and strode purposely toward them.

          The three exchanged a glance.  Cloud cleared his throat, debating whether to argue for Vincent to stay or just let him come.  There was no real need for him at the Highwind, and from the expression on the man's face Cloud could tell Vincent had no intention of being left behind.  "...alright.  Cait, stay with the Highwind.  Vincent, come with us."

          "Right, Cloud!"  The toy waddled back to the airship.  Apparently Cait hadn't felt like arguing either.

          Tifa rose an eyebrow, this incident reminding her of something.  *_...oh!  I remember now.  The last time Vincent went against Cloud, it was right before the battle with Hojo.  I wonder..._*

          "Vincent," Tifa spoke lowly as they walked behind Cloud, trying to keep herself from being heard.

          "Hmm?"

          "Is something wrong?"

          Vincent didn't answer.  Tifa had just about given up on getting a response, when...  "I think I sense her."

          "Her?"

          "Lucrecia."

          "Lucrecia?!"  Tifa shot a shocked glance at Vincent.  *_The 'beautiful lady'?  __The woman of your 'great sin'?_*  

          Vincent didn't bother replying.

          "Hey!  Tifa, Vincent!" Cloud motioned for them to come over.  "Look.  There's a cave behind this waterfall."

          He glanced over them at that, and they checked that they were ready for any monsters.  Caves tended to be favorite hiding places of such creatures.

          After a cursory check, the three entered.

          Tifa gasped.  The inside of the cave was beautiful, the light shimmering off the walls in iridescent greens and blues.  The air was cool, and misty.

          "Vincent..."  

          Tifa started and looked around, seeking the owner of that longing whisper.

          "Lucrecia?"  Vincent ran forward into the cave.  After a pause, Tifa and Cloud hurried quickly after him.          

          "Vincent?"  A woman was standing there before them.  She was very pretty, with coffee brown hair and striking blue eyes.  Her eyes widened upon seeing them.

          Tifa turned her gaze to Vincent.  He was staring, a sort of wild disbelief etched on his face.  "Lucrecia..."  Vincent stepped forward, slowly at first, then began to run.

          "Stay back!"  The woman thrust out her arms in a forbidding motion.  Vincent stopped as if frozen.

          Tifa watched his expression intently, amazed as wave after wave of varying emotions and buried memories hit the fallen man as he stared at the woman.  Shock, hope, longing, pain, desperation...  Tifa wished with all her heart that she knew what he was thinking at that moment.

          Slowly, Lucrecia's arms tightened around herself, until she was hugging her body as tightly as possible.

          Tifa was blinded by a flash of white light.  She blinked, the odd feeling of somebody had just taking a picture in her face shooting through her mind.  Had it been a less serious moment, Tifa would have laughed at how absurd it was.

          "No!"  Vincent stumbled, falling to his knees.  Tifa ran up to him.

          "Vincent!"  She grabbed his shoulder and leaned over him, worry clear in her expression.  Worry Vincent didn't see, his crimson eyes wild.  Tifa's cherry-brown orbs widened in shock at what she glimpsed in those blood depths, before Vincent flung his arm out, catching her in the stomach and throwing her to the ground away from him.

          She opened her mouth in a silent gasp as she hit the floor, the breath knocked out of her.  After lying dizzily on the ground for a few seconds, she became aware of Cloud kneeling over her.

          "Tifa?  Are you alright?" Cloud's voice echoed through her head.  Slowly, she struggled to sit up.

          "Yeah, I'm fine," she managed out, her chest still feeling oddly tight.  Cloud sighed in relief.

          He turned angrily to confront Vincent, but Tifa quickly grasped his wrist.  "It's okay, Cloud.  Vincent's got a lot of things on his mind."  Indeed, he hadn't moved from his position on the floor, although now his arms were wrapped around his body.  He was as still as stone.

          Cloud frowned, but nodded and helped Tifa up.  Wordlessly, the blond turned to leave the cavern.  Tifa followed him.

          At the entrance, he turned around.  "Vincent, we'll be on the Highwind," Cloud announced curtly.  Vincent might have been deaf for all the reaction he showed.  Cloud shrugged and left.

          Tifa paused at the entrance as well, glancing back at the fallen man behind her.  She might have taken longer, but it tore at her too badly to see Vincent in such a state, and she left without a word.

          It was dark, and they were still waiting for Vincent to reemerge.  Tifa sat patiently on the deck of the Highwind, enjoying the chilly night air.  *_It hasn't changed from the old days.*_ she mused.  The brunette tipped her head back, staring up at the vast array of stars in the sky.

          *_I remember the days when stars were magic..._*  "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight."  Tifa took a breath, thinking.  Wishes, even ones that might never come true, were special and had to be treated as so.  "I wish...everybody could be happy."  *_It doesn't seem like such a hard thing to wish for, does it?_*

          Tifa suddenly became aware of a presence nearing her.  Turning to the left, she saw a moving silhouette outlined against the midnight blue sky.  Seeing that it had been caught, the silhouette paused.

          "Tifa..."  Vincent trailed off, hesitant.

          "It's alright, Vincent."  The fighter smiled and stood, stretching herself out.  "I know you didn't mean it."

          "Still...I would like to apologize."  He moved closer, still slightly wary.

          Tifa nodded.  "I accept."

          Vincent frowned uncertainly.  It seemed too easy – he had cast Tifa away from him, had physically hurt her, the only person who seemed to truly cared for his welfare.  And she wanted nothing in compensation?

          "Are you okay, Vincent?" Tifa asked gently, baffling him still further.

          "...I'm fine."  He turned his face away, trying to sort through his confusion.

          "Alright then," Tifa sighed.  She knew there was no point trying to get Vincent to talk when he didn't feel like it.  "Shall we get some sleep?  It's kind of late."  She turned to head for the stairs.

          "Wait."  Tifa turned back, patiently doing as he asked.

          Vincent settled himself against the wall, crossing him arms across his chest.  "I...Lucrecia and I used to be in Shinra."  His voice, for once, was rough, the words lacking their usual velvet touch.

          Tifa nodded and sat back down, again wrapping her arms around her knees as she looked up at the dark figure.  Her eyes had adjusted to point where she could distinguish Vincent from the wall, but hardly more than that.  

          "Was...she a Turk too?" Tifa questioned hesitantly, after a long pause.

          "No!"  The word burst forward, uncharacteristically violent.  Tifa jolted and glanced up at him, startled.

          "No," Vincent repeated again, slightly calmer.  "Lucrecia was never a Turk.  She would never take a life, especially," Vincent's eyes darkened, "for something as petty as money or reputation."

          "I see," Tifa responded softly, her eyes going back down to her own hands.  She had caught the note of self-disgust in his voice, and knew the statement was directed at himself, but at the same time...it hurt her as well.  *_Not now.  Focus on Vincent._*  "What did she do for Shinra then?"

          "Lucrecia...was a scientist.  A lab assistant."  Vincent's voice turned cold.  "Hojo's lab assistant."

          Tifa's eyes widened.  "Oh..."

          "Lucrecia became pregnant," Vincent continued flatly.  "It was forbidden for her, with access to Shinra's most coveted files, to have outside contact beyond her workstation.  Hojo made her a bargain."  Vincent swallowed.

          All of a sudden, Tifa was on her feet.  "No, Vincent."  Tifa spoke with an oddly frantic note.  "Don't tell me this if it's too hard for you," she implored.

          Her words seemed to go right over him.  "Hojo told her that he would validate her pregnancy if she participated in the JENOVA project.  Lucrecia agreed."  Tifa bit her lip worriedly, wishing she could see his face better.  Impulsively, she moved closer.  Vincent didn't even seem to notice.  "He told everybody that it was for an experiment.  And it was.  Three months into her pregnancy, Hojo injected Jenova cells into her womb."

          "It created Sephiroth."

          A sharp intake of breath was Tifa's only reaction.  Her attention was completely concentrated on Vincent.

          "Sephiroth, Project JENOVA, was a success.  Who cared what happened to the vessel after the experiment was done?" Vincent spoke bitterly, his hands unnoticeably clenching into fists.  "She died.  Or at least..." his eyes traveled to the entrance of the cave, hidden in the night.  "At least...I believed she died," he murmured.

          This was one of those times Tifa wished desperately that she could see Vincent's face.  "Vincent..."

          "It doesn't matter," his voice was surprisingly cynical, at least surprising to Tifa – she had become so accustomed to his poetic, soothing baritone.  "Lucrecia has no wish to see me, obviously."

          The bitterness in his voice caused Tifa to shake her head violently.  "Don't punish yourself, Vincent."  Tifa bit her lip.  "It wasn't your fault."

          "It was."  He had returned to his monotone, but Tifa knew how thin that cover was.

          "No-"

          "It was!" Vincent flared, swinging his blood-red gaze to Tifa's face.  "It was my fault.  Perhaps not entirely, but for the most part.  I should have never been involved with her.  I should have simply let her live her life and kept myself in mine."

          "And then," he raged, "at the one time when I _should_ have interfered, I ran away.  I ran _away_!"  He strode over to Tifa's shocked form, until he was standing right in front of her, glaring down at her upturned face.  "It is _my_ fault Lucrecia agreed to being part of Project JENOVA.  She did so for _my_ safety."  He took a deep breath.

          "And when she told me that our relationship was over," Vincent continued softly, "I was too consumed by my own pain to recognize hers.  I never even asked why she ended it.  And I left her.  I left her to Hojo," his voice shook.  "Hojo, the craziest, vilest person I have ever had the displeasure of knowing.  By the time I realized what had happened, it was too late."  

          Self-loathing forced Vincent to look away from Tifa.  "Now you know."  His voice came out as a choked whisper.  "Now, do you understand why my sins weigh so heavily upon me?  Why it is fitting that I share my body with demons?  Why I am no better than they?  _Do you understand?_" his voice rose, demanding and desperate.

          The only response he received was silence.  Vincent closed his eyes, readying himself for Tifa's revulsion.  The idea of being hated – again – by somebody he cared for tore through him, but...  *_It's nothing more than what I deserve._*

          Abruptly, his eyes jerked open.  He was shocked when he felt Tifa's arms wrapping cautiously under his cloak, around his waist.  She hugged him gently, quietly stroking his back.

          Vincent looked down at her in disbelief.  *_What...?*_

          "I understand," Tifa's soothing voice drifted to Vincent's ears, "that you are a very kind, mature, passionate man, who feels very deeply for those he loves.  I also understand," her eyes turned up to lock with his, "that you need to learn how to forgive yourself."

          "Vincent," Tifa continued carefully.  "How were you to know that Lucrecia was being manipulated by Hojo?  How could you have predicted the outcome of your actions?"  Her eyes reflected the seriousness of which she was speaking.  "You only did what was natural, for any person.  You are not to blame," she finished firmly.  "Besides...you should never regret loving somebody."

          Vincent stared at her, his mouth working silently.  "I..." he faltered, then cleared his throat.  "I thank you for your forgiveness, Tifa."

          She tilted her head to the side.  "There's nothing to forgive.  But I'm sure that if there is, Lucrecia forgave you a long time ago."

          Vincent's eyes darkened.  Tifa shook her head empathetically.  "I mean it, Vincent.  I saw how she looked at you."

          "She ran away from me."  He shuddered, pulling slightly out of Tifa's hold.  "You saw how...she left me."

          The martial artist felt a burst of protectiveness at how vulnerable Vincent was at this moment.  "I'm sure she had her own reasons for leaving.  After all," Tifa added wryly, "she is supposed to be dead, isn't she?"

          Vincent gazed back at the waterfall.  "Yes...she is," he mused.  "Maybe..."  The longing in his voice was nearly tangible.

          Tifa tilted her head.  "Why don't you go back tomorrow morning?" she suggested.  "Maybe Lucrecia will be there again, and this time you two can talk.  It seemed she was just as shocked to see you as you were to see her."

          "How do I know she doesn't despise me?" Vincent asked, almost sounding forlorn.  So exposed.  Her protectiveness came back at full strength.

          "Vincent," she took a deep breath, "women do not normally call the names of men they despise in that tone."  Tifa's smile was bittersweet.  "Trust me.  Go see her again in the morning.  What do you have to lose?"

          He nodded slowly, looking down at her.  "I...thank you once more, Tifa."

          She shook her head and smiled.  "What're friends for?"

          *_Friends...now there's an odd thought..._*  Vincent suddenly noticed that Tifa had not removed her arms from his torso yet.  The realization made him both stiffen and...and what?

          Tifa glanced up.  "Something wrong, Vincent?"

          His eyes locked with hers.  *_Strange..._*  His thought drifted hazily.  *_What...?_*  Her eyes were beautiful, clear and kind, amber and ruby.

          Before he realized what he was doing, Vincent wrapped his arms around her and kissed her lightly on the forehead.  Tifa's eyes widened in surprise, and she grinned embarrassedly with pleasure.  Hastily, she let him go and took a small step back, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

          "Thank you, Vincent," she told him, delight clear in her voice.  Vincent nearly smiled.

          "It's nothing.  Come," he noticed her shiver slightly, "it is late, and the coldest hour of the night is nearly upon us."

          Tifa nodded and followed him down beneath the deck of the Highwind.

          It was morning, and a clear sunny one at that.  Vincent looked oddly out of place as he stood over the railing, the breeze blowing gently around him.

          "Hey Vince."  Cid stepped up behind him, chewing on his cigar.  He never smoked it, just chewed.

          "Gum would be preferable to cigars."  Now where had that come from?

          Apparently Cid had the same thought, because instead of being annoyed he just grinned.  "Feeling concerned, eh?"

          "..."

          Cid chuckled.  "Yeah, I'm giving it up after this quest is over.  I'm not gonna get all soft and wheezing like those geezers."

          Vincent gave a barely noticeable nod, still staring towards the waterfall.

          "So, Vinny," Cid took a puff, "what happened in that hole anyway?  Cloud looked pissed as hell, and Tifa was up here waiting for you all night."  Cid's shrugged.  "Poor girl.  Wiped herself clean out, she's still sleeping in her room."

          "It was nothing," Vincent stated.  *_Tifa..._*  She shouldn't have worn herself out for him.  He wasn't worth it.

          "Yeah?  Didn't damn well seem like nothing."  Cid watched him from the corner of his eye.

          "I was," Vincent repeated coldly, fixing his gaze on the pilot.  Cid blinked, looked down, and muttered something before stomping over to examine what one of his staff was doing.

          _It was nothing._  Vincent pushed Tifa's compassion, her embrace to the back of his mind.  She didn't understand; he _was_ the monster he always believed himself to be.  She simply didn't see it.  Besides, it was just in her nature to be kind.  It didn't mean-

          "Vincent."

          -a single thing.  Vincent turned around.

          Cloud stood behind him, his voice stern and his eyes cold.  The hero's feet were planted firmly as he appraised the dark man.

          "Cloud," Vincent acknowledged calmly.  He wasn't the least surprised at Cloud's anger.  In a way, it was comforting.  Cloud understood.

          Cloud crossed his arms.  "Did you apologize to Tifa?"

          "I did."

          "Good.  You know," he continued, "she was up until God knows when waiting for you."  His words were pointed, reproving.  Vincent took it calmly.  "She's a great friend, and an even greater person."

          Vincent nodded, wondering when Cloud would get to the point.

          "So you better not hurt her anymore."

          Inside Vincent flared at the hidden accusation.  "I have no intention of doing so," he replied smoothly.  "Tifa has been extremely kind to me, more than I deserve.  I will not allow any harm to come to her that can be prevented."  Vincent stopped abruptly, feeling for some reason he had said too much.

          Cloud nodded and uncrossed his arms, accepting Vincent's response.  He even appeared slightly pleased.  "Okay Vincent."  Cloud grinned, as if he had some private joke.  Vincent felt faintly irritated.  "I trust you."  Cloud turned to go.

          "However, Cloud," Vincent's admonitory tone caught the blond, "I would advise you to listen to your own words."

          Cloud cocked his head.  "What do you mean?"

          Vincent looked away, considering.  It was not his place to say, but...  "Tread delicately.  Tifa is more fragile than you believe."

          Cloud seemed puzzled.  "Uhh...sure.  If you say so, Vince."

          "Also," Vincent continued quickly, "I...need to leave for a moment.  I will be back shortly."

          "Alright.  Be careful."

          Vincent walked cautiously through the cave.  It was still beautiful, the lights playing off the cold walls, but he didn't notice.  Frankly, at this point he didn't care.

          He had come back to find forgiveness.

          Perhaps he hadn't served his penance yet, not fully.  But he wished to know...had to know...

          Was he forgiven?

          His walk was slow, uncertain.  Would he be able to accept the answer?

          The altar was empty.  For a second, Vincent wasn't sure whether to be crushed or relieved, when something glimmered on the ground.

          A magnificent gun.  And a syringe.

          Vincent knelt down and stroked the gun gently.  It was the finest he'd seen.  ..._Death Penalty..._  The name whispered through his mind.  He didn't try to find out where it had come from.

          And then...there was the syringe.  It glimmered there, coldly.  Vincent picked it up with his claw, barely keeping himself from flinching.  So many memories kept in these little vials...in this clear, bubble-less liquid.  So many nightmares.

          He turned it over in his palm.

      **CHAOS** was printed in dark silver letters on the side.

          Vincent smiled bitterly.  A fitting name.

          He had a hunch, a premonition, of what this vial contained.  For a long while, he had been aware of a fourth being in his body, but out of his mind's reach.  In all truth, the lack of control frightened him.  The monster was dormant, yes, but if it arose, there was no way for Vincent to control it as he did with the other three.  And one day, he knew it would arise on its own account.

          Vincent shuddered.  When the Galian Beast had first awakened, Vincent nearly tore a building down and set a house afire.  Death Gigas had shut down the electricity of the town for over a week, and electrocuted nine people.  Hellmasker...  When Vincent regained control over his body, he was standing over the mutilated remains of three people.  Mutilated.  Heads chopped off, limbs chopped off, stomachs slashed...the memory alone nearly made Vincent vomit.  Each time, one of these little vials had been what gave him control.

          Who knew what this one would do unrestrained?

          Slowly, methodically, Vincent injected the fluid into his arm, before dropping the empty syringe.

          Spasms ripped through his body.  Grimly, Vincent forced himself to be still, trying to keep from writhing.  A new consciousness floated and joined his mind, as another part of his humanity was lost.

          *_Hello Chaos._*

          "Hi Vincent!" Tifa waved at him, grinning as he walked up the ramp onto the Highwind.  "How are you?"

          "Fine," Vincent replied stoically, before asking, "Did you sleep well?"

          "Yes, thank you."  Tifa's expression shifted abruptly to concern.  "You're sure you're okay, Vincent?"

          "..."  Vincent stared flatly at her.  Tifa looked back, waiting, ignoring the hint of challenge in his eyes.

          After a few moments, he blinked, surprised she had held his gaze for so long.  Most people turned away immediately.

          "I am...better than before," Vincent answered finally, turning away from her.

          Tifa nodded.  She knew that to press Vincent any further would be treading on thin ice.  "That's good.  Hey Vincent?"

          "Yes?"  It was more of a sigh than a question.  Obviously he was wondering how long she would keep interrogating him.

          Tifa smiled, moved up to him, and hugged him around the waist.  "You are a very wonderful person, so don't beat yourself up too much."  She let go, smoothed her skirt, then grinned and walked away.

          Vincent watched her go.  If anybody had paid enough attention, they would have seen the fleeting glimpse of affection in his eyes.

AN: Well, this was longer than I expected...but hey, this is the first multi-part I've finished!  ^_^;;  Actually, I would have posted this sooner but ff.net wouldn't let me upload...  Well, the prequel to "Red roses mean love" is officially complete.  Please R&R – and for all the people who asked, I have been working on both RRML and JWT.  I'm hoping to start RRML back up as soon as finals are over.  JWT will be on hiatus though; I'd like to finish (or at least get much further) the story before I begin updating again.

I apologize to everybody who's been waiting for me to update.  I think that from now on, I won't post a multi-chapter fanfiction until after I finish it.  Well...thank you to everybody who has continued reading my stories!


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